thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
