Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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