Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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