Where did you get a picture of my penis
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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