What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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