Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
