i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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