That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
