I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
