can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
