she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
