Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
