so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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