I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
