Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
