why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
