P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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