they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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