At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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