I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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