i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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