last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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