i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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