In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
All the doctor said was why
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
