Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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