My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake†on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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