OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
