just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
