yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
