You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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