people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
