5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize