Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
We are two peas in an std pod
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
