I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
