That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
