Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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