the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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