Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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