His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
