By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
dude i'm inner monologue high
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
