We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
