Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
