You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
tell me about the eggs
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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