dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
