were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
