dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
