I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
