dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
