thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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