i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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