The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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