does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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