drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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