She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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