dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
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