so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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